When Chit Chat becomes Authentic Conversation

Books: Bread & Wine/Present over Perfect

Several months ago, I had read two books that shifted my life dramatically. Shauna Niequist, a wonderful woman and author, wrote Bread & Wine and then Present Over Perfect. Big deal right? Another clichéd book on being in the moment. It seems lately that there is more and more written on slowing down, being present, and connecting deeper. Ironically, who has the time to read so much on doing less? At the deepest level, I know that these topics greatly appeal to me and our mission here at Chatty Dragonfly. The concept of slowing down, connecting, and being in the moment is one that we can all understand in our busy world; however, I’ve found that actually doing it, or better yet, “being” present, is so much harder. At least for my life, I need to move out of the concept and into the experience.

Enter experience. Several months ago, at a lunch, I had given a friend of mine a copy of Bread & Wine believing she would enjoy the read as I did. Then recently, she invited us over with another couple for an evening of what many might have thought would have been a standard backyard barbeque. As we stood around having appetizers and some wine, I could tell that she had prepared her home in a way where we all brought something to contribute. It was so comfortable, natural, and genuine. Nothing fancy, just simple and beautiful.

Once we sat down for dinner, there was a notable shift. We settled our hearts, closed our eyes and had a very simple and beautiful prayer of thanks. She then calmly and purposefully said, “I’d like to propose a different kind of conversation tonight.” She continued, “I’d like each of us to go around the table and share something that your spouse does for you that really means a lot to you.” After a little nervous laughter, and a look from her to her husband gesturing that his better be good, we moved around the table. Our hostess went first as she set the tone beautifully for a conversation that had moved much further than typical neighborhood chit chat. I guess we could have talked about when we were putting granite in our bathrooms, the state of the political climate, or why 160 is barely impassable at 5PM in the week. Instead, a choice was made to move towards each other in meaningful conversation.

The rest of the evening was so memorable. We never left the table. We sat there enjoying each other’s company, realizing that while we had known each other for years, we never truly had connected in a way that was this authentic. At times our conversation would tail off in another direction, but it was as if we all brought it back to honor our host’s wishes that we all just “be” there that evening.

Bread & Wine is Shauna’s wonderful book on how the simple act of eating and breaking bread with someone, can easily become a meaningless task in our busy world without understanding the power that it can hold. Just as our host had discovered, Shauna writes, “Food matters, it’s the thing that connects us, that bares our traditions, our sense of home and family, our deepest memories, and on a practical level our ability to live and breathe each day.”

Later, Shauna came back and wrote the book Present Over Perfect, that dives deeper into the “being” of present and those things in our life, our minds, and our busyness that keep us from experiencing life and each other. She realized that her book Bread & Wine is the application of something much deeper that she explores in her book Present Over Perfect. Shauna writes, “Present is choosing to believe that your own life is worth investing deeply in instead of waiting for some rare miracle or fairytale. Present means we understand that the here and now is sacred, sacramental, threaded through with divinity even in its plainness.”

I admire and appreciated throughout this book the experience of what she describes as making a choice. Committing to believe that my life is my canvas that I can paint with the conversations I choose, the people I meet, and seeing the beauty that is all around me. Dinners like I described above can seem like such a simple act, perhaps even plain. They are however the knitting of a life that is full of joy and deep meaning that is sitting just below the surface.

At Chatty Dragonfly, we honor those that want to go deeper, live a life committed to a walk of what is authentic, and choosing to “Just Be.” Here is the link to the books on Amazon. I welcome you to discover something for yourself in these wonderful reads for you and for your life.

Present over Perfect

Bread and Wine

See my video interview here:

Books: Bread & Wine/Present over Perfect